Sabtu, 15 Maret 2014

Do You Have The Feeling That Your Marriage Is Falling Apart?

By Herbert Zabala


When you're in a bad marriage, it can be as painful as getting a root canal or open heart surgery. Marriages that are good are difficult enough already to cultivate because all married couples go through good days and bad days, ups and downs in their lives together.

There can be good days and bad days, which will make you feel as though you are on a sort of emotional roller coaster that has come off of the tracks.

Too many people grow up with parents that are not happy together. As a result, they do not understand what a marriage is supposed to be like. They think that it is okay not to express feelings of love for one another. They think it is normal to be unhappy the majority of the time. Therefore, when their own marriage becomes tough to endure, they simply think their situation is normal, when in reality, they deserve so much better.

As a matter of fact, it is not all that uncommon for someone who came from a broken home or a situation where their parents were always fighting to fall into a pattern of the same behavior. Because this type of action seems normal, it is difficult for them to understand that what they are going through is not necessarily healthy.

However, remember that you deserve to be happy. Reach out and get help as soon as possible. A counselor may be the answer that you are looking for. As a neutral party, he or she can help you and your spouse talk through your problems. They can also assist you as you seek solutions.

Do not deny what has been happening. Maybe you think that marriage is sacred and don't want to seek help because you are afraid to fail. Other people may stay in a bad marriage because they are doing it for their children, or they don't want to disappoint their family and friends. You don't have to sacrifice your happiness to protect them. Admit what is happen, then seek help.

People hang on to the hope that they can save their marriage. They wait years and years, then finally they seek therapy or counseling. More than fifty percent of couples who seek counseling are able to save their marriage.

Don't fall victim to the fallacy that you can save your marriage all on your own. If you do, you may wait until it is too late to see a counselor. Counselors are remarkably effective in helping couples suffering through a bad marriage; more than 50 percent of the time, couples that see a counselor wind up staying together.

If you have gone to counseling and you still do not see any good results coming out of it, then the chances are that you are holding onto something that may be too far gone to repair.

It may be hard to talk about your problems, but the only alternative is to suffer in silence. You can fix your marriage, but you have to be willing to work at it and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner.

If it means letting go of the marriage for the sake of your children as well as your sanity, then you may just find that everyone involved will be much happier in the long run. When you come to this realization, you need to remember that the dissolution of your marriage is nothing that you need to be ashamed about, especially if you worked hard to try and keep it together.




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